Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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