dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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