I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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