loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Small penises have feelings too.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize