are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
