dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
