im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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