Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
