Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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