You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
