Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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