My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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