I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam đ
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You couldnât remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders âunlimited hand frittersâ if they wouldnât cut you off.
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