College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
