party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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