I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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