if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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