During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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