ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize