There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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