i permit you to call me
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
