Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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