Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
