There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
