i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize