Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
