I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
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