I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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