Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
