STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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