A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
