gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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