420 ftw
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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