I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
NoShamevember. You game?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Randomize
