It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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