They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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