the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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