Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
