dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
is it fun? or sober?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
