Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
