is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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