I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize