when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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