Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize