ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
