Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize