I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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