This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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