so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
