I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
should my penis look like a turkey
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
