I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
