I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
