I wish life had little blips of pornography
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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