he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
