32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
