That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
