Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
All I want is dick and wine.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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