We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
