can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
