Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize