I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
