remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
