Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Randomize
