he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
it's great music for shaving your balls
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
