it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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