i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I party with great urgency now.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize