Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize