Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Randomize
