where am i from again
I wish i was in the wii world.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
